Show the World Your Beautiful Mess

December 30, 2021 by Erin Dickman DNP, RN, OCN®

Embracing—not judging or hiding—our flaws and vulnerabilities makes us happier and more relatable, a research-supported concept called the beautiful mess effect. What we think are negatives or weaknesses, others see ( as courageous. Showing ( vulnerability can lead ( to stronger relationships, increased self-esteem, and better mental health.

What the Research Tells Us

Vulnerability has historically been viewed as a sign of weakness and fragility, but researcher Brené Brown showed ( that the opposite is true. Vulnerability is an essential quality for nurses and beneficial in everyday life.

Bruk et al. defined ( vulnerability as “the willingness to expose yourself emotionally to another person despite being afraid and despite the risks” and demonstrated that others perceive it as a redeeming quality.

As nurses, we care for vulnerable people every day. Recognizing that humanizes our patients to us and helps us empathize with their needs. When nurses are equally vulnerable ( with their patients, they build ( strong, trusting relationships.

The list of vulnerability’s benefits doesn’t stop there. It helps us better enjoy social interactions, facilitates forgiveness, and may decrease anger. In the short term, we feel more accepted, overcome our fears, have higher self-esteem, and are more creative. In the longer term, that translates ( to feeling belonging, being seen ( as trustworthy, better mental health, overall emotional growth, and resilience.

Being vulnerable can trigger tough emotions, and fear of negative consequences is the main reason people decide to continue to hide themselves. However, risking the possibility of being hurt can lead ( to more meaningful interactions and relationships.

How to Practice

You must make a conscious choice ( to be open with other human beings. It cannot be experienced alone because it is a feeling shared between people. Here are some tips to help you practice vulnerability:

You can choose to be open, or you can choose to disengage. The next time you have the opportunity to be vulnerable, I hope you take that leap and experience the vast benefits that come from showing the world your beautiful mess.

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